hmmmmmm.....................adoption has been put on hold for a bit. Not decided against..just put on hold. It will happen...one day...soon...and I CANNOT wait! Big things are coming...I can tell! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ramblings of life...

Today has been a crazy day filled with five million emotions. Abi is so amazing. She makes me so happy (90% of the time)! Lately she is about all that I find comfort in. I have had more unexpected expenses come up and it is really putting a damper on things. Now I am not sure that tax money is going to be able to be put where it needs to be put. I really was hoping to pay some things off so I was in a better state financially. I guess the adoption is on hold. Not going to say that I have given up because I def have not. Just not gonna happen in the time frame I had hoped for. I really need to take some time any way and figure out who I am before I have another child. I am little lost. I wanna find me again. I have been broken down a lot lately. March is quickly approaching and will bring about a lot of change. I'm scared...scared that I can't do it. I am scared that change isn't what I need right now. Scared that Abi won't like the change. Just scared. I am ready to be the mom that I dream of being for Abi. I am ready to start a career. I am ready for more independence. I had that taken away and it has been incredibly hard getting that back. Just ready for my time to shine.